42 Comments
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Jonnymac's avatar

Will anyone buy Merrick Garland's story? He should fuck right off into retirement and have the good sense to just live out his days in the Villages writing sternly worded letters to management about all the coarse language at the bridge sessions.

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Justin B's avatar

Man #13 is bold and specific. Here's hoping.

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tennisfan2's avatar

Spit out my coffee on #13 … one can dream!

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Marc Sobel's avatar

Vance will attempt to 25th Trump and be laughed out of existence.

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Rebecca's avatar

Ooh, 25th amendment…interesting. Although, barring a major health event for Trump, it seems unlikely that would happen in year one of Trump 2.0.

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Jonnymac's avatar

Trump is very much in the "major health event is not unlikely at any given time" phase of his life, every year is maybe a slightly biased coin flip that he lives through it.

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Douglas's avatar

Has anyone noticed D never gets sick (other than COVID).? He never coughs, clears his throat.....Biden was always coughing due to his post nasal problem...I think that's what contributed to B being viewed as 'old' & weak

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Marc Sobel's avatar

It also may have had to do with the NYT trying to beat their record for the number of articles about HER EMAILS with articles about how BIDEN IS 3 YEARS OLDER THAN TRUMP>

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Marc Sobel's avatar

I was making a joke about how MAGA loyalty is transactional. Kind of "what have you done for me lately."

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Dan Clarke's avatar

Is there an over under on number of impeachments?

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Jkley's avatar

Trump is diagnosed with rectal cancer. Thiel and Muskrat offer him a buyout, to go away & take his kids with him, to be paid in Bitcoin, which he accepts. (But can never figure out how to access)

He dies & funeral draws a crowd of cheering souls louder & more boisterous than his 1st inauguration.

Vance replaces him until the midterms by which time his past transgressions are exposed, Dems win the House back, & newly elected Speaker becomes our next Pres. Meanwhile some hack steals all of the Trump buyout Bitcoin- turns out to be a shill employed Thiel & Muskrat.

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Randall Livingston's avatar

An added detail: He dies & funeral draws crowd of cheering souls louder and more boisterous than his first inaugural and wearing “Real Men Wear Diapers” diapers over their pants.

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Sarah Birnbaum's avatar

I was with you until the end. The METS? Life is not that kind.

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Douglas's avatar

Yes Sarah....The wish casting of Mets winning the world Series indicates he started celebrating new years early with many grapes 🍇 like the Spanish do....and I'm a Mets fan! 😂

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Truckeeman's avatar

Great non-predictions. How about a set of "Rovian" predictions - things that "because we are an empire now...." we speak, write and act into reality.

Here are a few:

- Republican Congresspeople decide that principles matter more than power

- Democratic Congresspeople discover their spines, and realize that power is as important as principle.

- All Congresspeople over 70 retire.

- The Equal Rights Amendment is championed by Trump, and passes in law.

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Keith Odom's avatar

Those are good predictions. Specific enough to be interesting. All of them are plausible.

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Tim Ryan's avatar

well this was depressing. and I couldn’t agree more. have a good new year Brian!

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stretchdogg's avatar

Really interesting stuff, and entertaining too. Aileen Cannon going down in flames would be kind of sweet.

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tennisfan2's avatar

But which Republican Senators are voting her down? I can see Murkowski and maybe Collins but struggle beyond that.

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stretchdogg's avatar

Yes, I see your point… I hope Brian has more concrete info for this prediction.

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Michael Roulier's avatar

I'd like to see #9 come half true. Dems squeak a house majority but a progressive coup takes place and AOC becomes Speaker.

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Jerry Depew's avatar

Shorter Brian: Democrats will continue to be useless. Seek salvation elsewhere, citizen.

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Rebecca's avatar

#13 had me rubbing my hands together in glee. From your lips to god’s ear, Brian!

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Erik Strom's avatar

I'll take everything but the Mets...

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Sue's avatar

Would love to see many of these come to light.

I gotta say, Mets are on ·my· 2025 BINGO card too!

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Guy Hall's avatar

You had me until #18. If you were my employee, I'd request a drug screen because you have to be high to believe the Mets will win the World Series.

Troll prophylactic: calm down, Mets fans; I'm just being sarcastic. I don't have a clue how good or bad the Mets will do in 2025.

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