28 Comments
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Georgi's avatar

Thank you for the warning - I will widely share these stories to prevent us from spreading known untruths. (Sarah Lazarus - thanks for the laugh- needed it)

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GarySanDiego's avatar

Brian better be careful. Sarah is pretty funny!

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Gwynne Young's avatar

Heading down to Tooth Town is the best!

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Jacob Crites's avatar

Thank you for bringing attention to this. I would also like the mainstream (lamestream, tbh) media to stop suggesting that JD Vance’s beard is made up of the eyebrows of poor Ohio children that he personally employs in his “based meme factory” in Akron. I have seen very little evidence of this, and there are other logical reasons his beard might be thin and gross

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xaxnar's avatar

The problem with these scurrilous and unfounded allegations is that things that have actually been confirmed about them make them all too plausible.

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Michelle Fiondel Heitman's avatar

No. We must NOT “wipe the smirks off our faces.” The opposition is cruel, heartless, fascist, and (as Gov Walz said) weird. The BEST they have a right to expect from us is mockery.

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Bruce Jacobs's avatar

I suppose sarcasm? Yet, when challenging bullies, one does not come to the fight bearing candy and flowers. Perhaps, even more challenging was the passage “ No serious reporter has substantiated the rumor that while at Yale Law School, JD Vance bet some classmates that he could recreate the scene from Cool Hand Luke in which Paul Newman eats 50 hard-boiled eggs, and that Vance then attacked the challenge with such speed and apparent ease that his friends were disgusted and deeply unsettled, later recalling the silence that fell over the room as Vance housed his 20th—then 30th—hard-boiled egg, his jaw unhinged snake-like to swallow them whole, egg after egg after egg after egg, his round face as blank and untroubled as the surface of a swamp on a hot, windless day, and the blended look of triumph and confusion that rippled across it after the final egg had been dispatched and there were no cheers or back slaps forthcoming, only the hard, wary stares of men who minutes before had been friends, and how no one who bore witness to the Egg Incident, as it came to be known around New Haven, ever spoke to Vance again after that day.”

I don’t think I would have made it out of 7th grade (American school system) if I had written this?

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Runfastandwin's avatar

It's all one sentence so big points for that. As to the content, I for one believe it.

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Bruce Jacobs's avatar

I’m not quite sure how to take it. I am not an English major or a professional writer, but one sentence? This, however, adds to the drama or confusion. I suppose you are saying you don’t believe the rumors that are listed? Have you read Hillbilly Elegy? I have and rather enjoyed it. I read it around 2016, understanding it is a memoir appreciating that it is an existential interpretation. Upon reading the memoir, I felt it was a little boastful and derogatory for a purpose. I must say now, my analysis is that it’s much more of an existential memory and/or to serve a purpose for Vance then I previous appreciated. My updated analysis is that it was a precursor for his running for office.

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David Sea's avatar

I still wanna know if there's any truth to the rumor that the reason he no longer shaves his beard is because, as a lad, his MauMau used to tell him once you grow a beard, you must keep it for if you ever shave it off, ticks will be attracted to the exposed sweat glands having absorbed ingredients found in shaving cream that solidify and gel into what resembles a chemical compound only found in areas known to harbor ticks.

This rumor, I gotta admit, comes from an unreliable source known to make up stories on the fly, so there's that.

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Laura Larrecou's avatar

That was a delightful "tongue in cheek" bit of writing this morning. Lots of us would like more humor and less nastiness in our politics and lives. I'll be sure to share.... :)

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Glen Miller's avatar

No, I want more nastiness used against DT and his brownshirts.

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Laura Larrecou's avatar

You do you Glen, I'll do me. It's all really good fun right now...feeling hopeful and happy and all!

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Jaxon Lee's avatar

Thanks for this. I needed a good laugh this morning

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William McCann's avatar

Disgusting Lies! That Have Me In Stitches! You are a very funny person, Sarah. Thank You!

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Kim Vale's avatar

Rolling on the floor laughing here in Vermont. Going back to my home in 🇨🇦where universal health care and social democracy rule. Laughing all the way.

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Al Bellenchia's avatar

If he only had a brain…

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Glen Miller's avatar

Fantastic humor, the kind that will, and should be spread widely about the bully and clown.

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Truckeeman's avatar

LOL. I'm pretty sure you are wrong about the couch thing. It was apparently in some of the early drafts of JD's book, until, thinking about a possible political career, he decided to self-censor. Really, too woke.

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Runfastandwin's avatar

I believe Vance had conjugal relations with his couch and I feel NO SHAME FOR HAVING THAT BELIEF.

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